Bitter Announcement

Before I posted my story I wanted to leave a little clue. Posted below is a drawing related to my fiction story Bitter.

 

Any guesses on the type of flower this is? (Click on the picture to enlarge it.) Please share your comments! I would love to hear from you!

Broken Promises

At one point I announced my short story Bitter would be posted on this blog. I apologize that the story has yet to arrive. If you’ll bear with me a little longer, I will be posting it in installments.

Driving

I don’t like to drive. It doesn’t feel natural. Walking or running. That’s what we’re meant to do. Driving just makes humans go crazy. At least that’s all I get the sense off when I’m on the road. Everyone is in rush rush rush mode. Time to go to work or the store or wherever it is they have to be. Typically, I’m not a fast driver so I’m the one people are flying around. If I’m running late to work, it’s a different story, of course. I’ll save that for another time. My point is I hate running around, and I think cars encourage that. I appreciate the ease of getting from place to place faster and the ability to see sites l probably wouldn’t be able to access without a car. However, if today’s society was built around walking or biking I would choose that for day to day and save cars or buses for the occasional use. I’m okay with slowing life down.

As a teen I loved driving. It gave me a sense of freedom. I’m not sure when it became boring or turned into a task, but at some point I just didn’t like it anymore. I do remember never wanting to drive again after my first car accident. I think I was seventeen. I can’t recall what changed my mind to get into that driver’s seat again. I’m sure it was my mom’s encouraging words.

Tomorrow morning I’ll get in the car again to drive my mom to the airport. She’ll fly back home to Ohio, and I’ll drive home trying to keep the wheels of the car on the ground as well as my mind. One day I’ll fly from this world, but for now I’m here on Earth whether I’m walking, running, or driving.

Birthdays

Today is my husband’s twenty-seventh birthday. Happy Birthday to him! It has been wonderful getting older with him or leveling up, if you will. I look forward to many more adventures in this life with my special man!

Earlier my husband cleaned the kitchen until it shined. Not a dish left in site. Happy Birthday to me too! I couldn’t ask for more. How wonderful it is to have a clean kitchen! My mom is visiting soon, and he said he wanted to make sure to help make the house look nice for her. And one hundred points goes to…husband!

On another point, to make sure I keep enjoying birthdays and important people in my life, I have downloaded xnotestopwatch. I’m not promoting it yet as I have not tried it, but it’s a great idea in theory. It’s a timer you can set on your computer to monitor your activity. You can set an alarm to go off and even have it ready to open programs as it terminates. I’m going to use it to limit my activity on Facebook and surfing the web. I’m also going to use it to set an encouraging time limit while doing certain tasks such as writing or studying. This is exactly the kind of thing I need! I was thinking old school before like an old kitchen timer or setting my phone. The program sounds easier and has the potential to force me out of or into a program. I just know I’ve been itching for some change. Now is the time. Ready…set…go! And here’s to more birthdays!


*Note: The eleventh is my husband's birthday. This posted late. :) Today is his brother's birthday, however. Here's to another! Happy Birthday brother-in-law! 

Should Be Sleeping

I was going to delete this blog. Let’s face it. It moves slower than I do, and that’s saying a lot. My mom used to say, “You move slower than molasses.” I still take forever to get things accomplished. It is not for lack of trying either. I think part it has to do with trying to do too many things at once. This relates back to my blog Just Needs Cleaning. I just need to clean out the stuff in my life that doesn’t need to be there. Time for some summer cleaning!

There are a lot of changes happening right now contributing to a busy season in my life, and that’s okay. However, there are some distractions in life that I can avoid like spending less time on the internet or preventing a sudden cleaning spree when I should be working on the project at the top of my to do list. I’m sure there are many more, but these seem to be at the top of the list.

As you can see, this blog is still alive. For now. As for me, I should be sleeping. Obviously, I still have a lot of summer cleaning to do. One day my priorities will align. Maybe they’ll dance into place as I sleep. Good night reality.

Bathroom Time

It is after two in the morning. This time I’m hiding out in the bathroom to escape the cigarette smoke. The toilet makes a lovely seat. Add a cushion, and I’d be good to go! I wonder if the bathtub would make a nice bed. I’m already starting to feel sleepy again. I remember an episode of Full House where one of the girls made a bed in their bathtub. It’s probably not a good idea for me. It doesn’t look too comfortable! Time to float on the Tempur-Pedic cloud instead. This time when I dream maybe the cloud will drift away from the smoke. Let’s go cloud!

In the Closet

Today I am writing in the closet. Yes, the closet. Despite the clothes, storage bins, and suitcases surrounding me, it is actually quite cozy. When I was a teen and finally had my own room I still enjoyed some extra privacy. I would crawl into the space between the wall and my bed. I would write in my diary or read a book and sometimes curl up with a blanket. My mom even came in and turned off the light on me one time. She may have been pretending I wasn’t there, but I thought it was awesome that I could hide from the world at the time.

Right now I’m not attempting to escape from the world, though I am enjoying this space. I was driven into this closet by smoke. Cigarette smoke. This is a non-smoking building, but cigarette smoke is permeating my living room. The kitchen was my haven earlier when I was cooking, but now it’s time to relax a little. I was going to move my workstation to the bedroom which seems to be smoke free, but Sean needs to sleep. I decided to hang out in the closet with the door closed as not to disturb him and still have smoke-free air.

I don’t want to make any excuses for not writing so here I am. A change of scenery can be good. I was thinking more along the lines of taking my workstation to a café. The closet will do for today. I wonder where tomorrow will take me.

Just Needs Cleaning

One morning when I was leaving for work I stumbled upon a toaster oven. It was just an ordinary toaster oven hanging out below the mailboxes right inside my apartment building. Its brave little yellow sticky note claimed, however, that it was something special, “Free. It works. Just needs cleaning.”

Most unwanted treasures simply proclaim, “Free.” No explanation necessary. Surprised by this unique fellow’s message, I had to double check his words when I returned home from work. Yep. Still the same. Maybe I was searching for something. It’s just a toaster after all! I however, do believe that God uses other people in little ways if I just keep my eyes open. I’m not suggesting that everything I run into has serious implications, but if it stops me in my tracks, I’d better pay attention.

I was excited about the toaster’s note as I’ve recently been “cleaning” myself. I have a lot of decisions to make regarding my weekly activities. I know I want to write and I have to work. There are a lot of other desires and needs to meet in between. Figuring out where God wants me to be isn’t easy, but I am determined to be where he is or rather where he intends for me to be.  I’m ready to chuck a few activities out the window, but I don’t know if it’s the right decision yet.

God gives me free will. I wonder if God watches what I do with my gift down here and just shakes his head. Sometimes I “work” just to get by. There is so much junk that has piled up that I can’t manage it effectively anymore. I function enough to go to work, play wife, play daughter, play friend, run errands, and do chores. I don’t excel in any of my daily activities as each one has become too much of a burden. It works, to a degree, but it’s dirty so I need to clean it up so my work shines for God!

I’m learning not pile on more than I can handle in my schedule. This is a slow process. It is a lesson I learn over and over again year after year. I’m trying to make a permanent change this time. I’m sick of working on one thing and rushing to the next or hanging out with my husband at times and getting distracted by my to do list. Life shouldn’t be busy all the time. I need to go to God and constantly evaluate what is important in my life and what is not.

I keep asking myself what is keeping me from God and the people around me?  An answer to that question followed shortly after I lost my job in November 2012. The family I was working for full-time moved out of state. As I was searching for a job I didn’t know what to do with myself. I fell into watching movies frequently. As a solution, I asked my husband to put a password on Netflix so I could only have access to instant streaming with his permission. We don’t have cable so programs are no longer a distraction. Life is much better without this! I’m working on some other hurdles that aren’t as clear cut, but I know it will be worth it when everything is all shiny. This may take a lifetime as stubborn as I am, but I’m getting better. I can’t do everything. I’m just one person. And with that I will return to my toaster oven. Okay...now…where’s the baking soda…

Mess

This is a journal entry still in raw form just for the sake of getting something on this blog! I am still working on Bitter. At this point it will be posted in one to two months. I'm submitting it for review first. I will be posting a blog titled Just Needs Cleaning much sooner!

Letters

I am supposed to be writing letters today. I was until I became distracted. I still owe you Bitter. The time will come if you dare to wait. That is all for today.

Under Construction!

Welcome to my new blog! It is currently under construction, but I will be introducing my first real post soon. Thank you for joining me in this journey. I would like to tell you that you have some amazing adventures to look forward to, but this is a new experience for me as well. It is my second attempt at blog. This time I plan to post short fiction works I've been working on. I have more fun with that, and I think you will too. You don't want to suffer through me rambling on like this. My first fictional piece is titled Bitter. Expect to see it soon! If you know me you may recognize the characters. If you are a writer you may relate to the characters on a similar level as I did. Most of my pieces are not like this, but Bitter is a great way to kick of this blog. You'll know why when you read it. I'll let the characters argue it out on here for themselves. You decide!