One morning when I was leaving for work I stumbled upon a
toaster oven. It was just an ordinary toaster oven hanging out below the
mailboxes right inside my apartment building. Its brave little yellow sticky
note claimed, however, that it was something special, “Free. It works. Just
needs cleaning.”
Most unwanted treasures simply proclaim, “Free.” No
explanation necessary. Surprised by this unique fellow’s message, I had to
double check his words when I returned home from work. Yep. Still the same. Maybe I was searching for something. It’s just
a toaster after all! I however, do believe that God uses other people in little
ways if I just keep my eyes open. I’m not suggesting that everything
I run into has serious implications, but if it stops me in my tracks, I’d
better pay attention.
I was excited about the toaster’s note as I’ve recently been
“cleaning” myself. I have a lot of decisions to make regarding my weekly activities.
I know I want to write and I have to work. There are a lot of other
desires and needs to meet in between. Figuring out where God wants me to be
isn’t easy, but I am determined to be where he is or rather where he intends
for me to be. I’m ready to chuck a few
activities out the window, but I don’t know if it’s the right decision yet.
God gives me free will. I wonder if God watches what I do
with my gift down here and just shakes his head. Sometimes I “work” just to get
by. There is so much junk that has piled up that I can’t manage it effectively
anymore. I function enough to go to work, play wife, play daughter, play
friend, run errands, and do chores. I don’t excel in any of my daily activities
as each one has become too much of a burden. It works, to a degree, but
it’s dirty so I need to clean it up so my work shines for God!
I’m learning not pile on more than I can handle in my
schedule. This is a slow process. It is a lesson I learn over and over again
year after year. I’m trying to make a permanent change this time. I’m sick of
working on one thing and rushing to the next or hanging out with my husband at
times and getting distracted by my to do list. Life shouldn’t be busy all the
time. I need to go to God and constantly evaluate what is important in my life
and what is not.
I keep asking myself what is keeping me from God and the
people around me? An answer to that
question followed shortly after I lost my job in November 2012. The family I
was working for full-time moved out of state. As I was searching for a job I
didn’t know what to do with myself. I fell into watching movies frequently. As a solution, I
asked my husband to put a password on Netflix so I could only have access to
instant streaming with his permission. We don’t have cable so programs are no
longer a distraction. Life is much better without this! I’m working on some
other hurdles that aren’t as clear cut, but I know it will be worth it when
everything is all shiny. This may take a lifetime as stubborn as I am, but I’m
getting better. I can’t do everything. I’m just one person. And with that
I will return to my toaster oven. Okay...now…where’s
the baking soda…
