Where to Start

 Note: This was originally published in March 2021. Due to an error through Blogger, where my post was incorrectly flagged as violating polices, it was taken down. This happened to other users posts as well. Though the error was corrected and my post was reinstated, this text will likely post with a new date.

I have heard from others and have often said myself, “The hardest part is getting started.” It’s often said because it’s true. Starting gives you momentum to keep going. In a recent example, I was already writing this blog entry in my head right after my first return post on this 2021 calendar year. Writing creates more writing.

Starting is intimidating for me when I see a massive project before me. It’s too overwhelming to tackle, and I just don’t know where to pin point that initial dive in. I have a million or more ideas, but executing them is a different story. Polishing them and assuring they are readable and enjoyable is even more daunting.

However, I have been learning about approaching projects in other aspects of my life. One of my interests right now is purging stuff I don’t need from my home while studying minimalism. Part of me wants to dive into my journey as I go through this process. Another part of me wants to write about my current health flare. I’d also love to write about child care and creative learning projects. There are so many things to write about. It’s exciting! Right now, however, I’ll keep writing about my process of well…writing. It’s a start!

Fear and inexperience are what hinder me from practicing writing. What scares me the most about large writing projects is the editing. Vomiting words on the page is much easier than trying to tame them. More particularly, I struggle with self-editing. I set myself up for this issue, unfortunately. I stayed away from a teacher in college who I could have learned a great deal from simply because her demeanor frightened me. If I could do college all over again, I would take some of her classes. Despite this avoidance in the past, I have gotten better at self-editing shorter pieces of writing, but I freeze when I think of editing my novel.

I still don’t know exactly where I want to go from here with my writing, but I have arrived at the keyboard on day two of this journey of my attempt to improve my skills. I do know I want to get more personal and less vague. It’s time for some real talk, though there will likely be some more mindless wandering or journal-like release pieces as I figure this out.

I think I’m going to write about a difficult topic soon as the timing is personal to me even as I write this. For now, I must rest as I am writing in the early hours of the morning once again. I will try to bring more words to the page later today.

Beginning Again & Being Honest with Myself

 

 

I found myself wanting to write late this evening. This past year has been an interesting one. I have faced many health challenges that are non-COVID related. I have had to focus hard core on my physical health in order to have any hope of functioning day to day. However, I have neglected my mental health, and I have not been writing much. Though I follow a daily regiment related to my physical health to try to maintain some type of normalcy, I don’t follow any daily habits for writing. That needs to change so I’m starting here.

I’m not sure where this will lead. I’m not making any promises regarding this blog. However, I want to make a commitment to writing. I don’t know what that looks like yet. I have tried this blog and others in the past only to not keep up with it. I used to beat myself up over that, but it doesn’t bother me anymore. I just want to write.

I have two big projects I have worked on and off over the years. I find it hard to blog and work on big projects simultaneously, but perhaps this blog is a good place to start despite those challenges. I just need to write something.

I’ve spent too much time worrying about how the words come out and how many mistakes I will make. Perfectionism permeates my being, but I don’t want to let it control me anymore.

From here let me say that I am writing to write. There will be mistakes. I’m not perfect. I’m going to get a lot of things wrong. But that’s okay. It’s better than doing nothing with my words. My words can’t be of any use at all if they stay stuck swirling around in my head. There might be a lot of trash put out on this page, but there will be some gems too. That’s a big part of writing – getting all the junk out before you can get to the good stuff. I guess I need to get the worst of it out quickly so quality follows. This is a lifelong race, however, and I’m not trying to speed through it. The journey feels fresh right now. I don’t know exactly where I’m starting from or where I’m heading, but it’s time to begin again.  

I plan to write daily, but as with starting exercise, I need to start small. If I can plan to write something each day, I’ll be happy. Then perhaps, I can call myself a writer without hesitating. Sure, I write all sorts of stories in my thoughts all the time, but I don’t let it out on paper as often as I should. So here I am, with all my flaws, back to telling stories. This is more of a journal-like release, but I suppose all blogs are a bit of that at least.

I want to write with purpose, intention, and self-control, but for now I’m just going to let it flow. The plan will come later.