I found myself wanting to write late this evening. This past year has been an interesting one. I have faced many health challenges that are non-COVID related. I have had to focus hard core on my physical health in order to have any hope of functioning day to day. However, I have neglected my mental health, and I have not been writing much. Though I follow a daily regiment related to my physical health to try to maintain some type of normalcy, I don’t follow any daily habits for writing. That needs to change so I’m starting here.
I’m not sure where this will lead. I’m not making any promises regarding this blog. However, I want to make a commitment to writing. I don’t know what that looks like yet. I have tried this blog and others in the past only to not keep up with it. I used to beat myself up over that, but it doesn’t bother me anymore. I just want to write.
I have two big projects I have worked on and off over the years. I find it hard to blog and work on big projects simultaneously, but perhaps this blog is a good place to start despite those challenges. I just need to write something.
I’ve spent too much time worrying about how the words come out and how many mistakes I will make. Perfectionism permeates my being, but I don’t want to let it control me anymore.
From here let me say that I am writing to write. There will be mistakes. I’m not perfect. I’m going to get a lot of things wrong. But that’s okay. It’s better than doing nothing with my words. My words can’t be of any use at all if they stay stuck swirling around in my head. There might be a lot of trash put out on this page, but there will be some gems too. That’s a big part of writing – getting all the junk out before you can get to the good stuff. I guess I need to get the worst of it out quickly so quality follows. This is a lifelong race, however, and I’m not trying to speed through it. The journey feels fresh right now. I don’t know exactly where I’m starting from or where I’m heading, but it’s time to begin again.
I plan to write daily, but as with starting exercise, I need to start small. If I can plan to write something each day, I’ll be happy. Then perhaps, I can call myself a writer without hesitating. Sure, I write all sorts of stories in my thoughts all the time, but I don’t let it out on paper as often as I should. So here I am, with all my flaws, back to telling stories. This is more of a journal-like release, but I suppose all blogs are a bit of that at least.
I want to write with purpose, intention, and self-control, but for now I’m just going to let it flow. The plan will come later.
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